THE GREAT INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE

BLOG Published on Valentine's Day 2017 

If you are popping the biq question tonight, wishing you every Happiness.

If you are popping the question as one of the many couples dining at Balbirnie tonight, then here's an image just for you, as our LED's are of course set this evening, for red.

In relation to weddings, and over the course of a quarter century at Balbirnie, we've certainly seen some incredible circumstances.

Every month we sit down as a matter of absolute routine, and we have four hours of brigade discussions. These are always on the last Tuesday of each calendar month. In the Boardroom of our Balbirnie Business Centre. 

You can follow us on Twitter, we summarise as we go: 

https://twitter.com/BalbirnieHouse

12 Noon: wedding planning dept, Special Events and MC's. 

1pm: Front-of-House management team. 

2pm onwards: all management team. 

Contemplation is assisted by facts and figures, updated financials, Excel summaries, 'slide images' of the month, and breakdown of marketing analysis. I always say to those participating for the first time, 'this is a great wee forum, for contemplating your future management in Hospitality'.

Each discussion has an advance agenda, and we always summarise afterwards with minutes. This is how we evolve and progress. A continual appraisal of what we do, and an ongoing study across the span of Hospitality. We look to push boundaries, stay ahead of curves, and embrace the dynamics of continual evolution, all set against backdrops of accelerating revenues, very carefully controlling costs, and increasing value for our clients.

During one of these monthly discussions back in 2003, I had a flash of inspiration. That year, unbelievably so, we had a record-breaking 16 wedding cancellations. Heartbreaking circumstances for sure. One of the straightforward reasons for this was that couples were booking so far in advance, and that there was then extended timeline to conclude that their dream of life together, simply wasn't to be. 

So I wondered, 'what if I simply tell it exactly the way it is?' 

I asked myself, 'how can I help people avoid the pitfalls and expenses of reserving and then cancelling a wedding?'

I thought about that for a few years, and then I put pen to paper. It didn't take very long to write! And then we added it to our wedding literature. It still remains, as is today, within our newly published 60 pages of updated annual wedding literature. 

This annual update is always a busy time. In the last 7 days alone, our wedding homepage alone has had over 1100 visitors.

http://balbirnie.co.uk/weddings/

Anyways, I've been waiting for any client to mention this wee letter to me for many years, but nobody ever has. It is comparable to writing something for a newspaper, and not seeing any subsequent reader comments. Why? Because very simply, it is what it is! 

I wonder, if over the last 5 years alone, and across the span of more than 750 couples who decided to celebrate their weddings here, if my penned thoughts have ever made any difference, even to one couple? Well who knows, but one thing for sure, we hardly ever have a wedding cancellation these days!

Here's the 2017 version:

A FEW THOUGHTS FROM BALBIRNIE HOUSE, ON THE GREAT INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE

I am a great believer in this- 'Positivity projected into the great ether always goes full circle'. With that in mind, here are a few very personal thoughts, for anyone thinking of getting married. I say these things specifically in the context of seeing a few weddings cancelling every year, which is most unfortunate, disastrous actually, and depending upon lead time, potentially very expensive indeed - all obviously for nothing.

If what I am about to say therefore makes anything easier for any single individual in any regard, then something positive has been accomplished.

Any couple getting married in a church will have access and spiritual guidance from a Minister. For humanist and civil ceremonies, that may not be the case, which is why we highlight referral to relevant Counselling, advance contemplation and preparation, contained elsewhere within our literature.

Over and above:

We've all seen the Hollywood wedding movies, haven't we! What I have myself also seen first-hand (and whoever is reading this has perhaps not), is absolute real life disaster on a wedding day. Fortunately such circumstances are however very rare indeed.

Before we start any year, there will possibly also always be a proportion of marriages at Balbirnie, which will unfortunately not endure the eventual test of time. That is simply an unfortunate fact of life. In my third decade of talking to couples every week about their intended wedding plans, it sometimes strikes me very much at outset, that some couples may have decided to literally rush into marriage, without actually contemplating what really does lie ahead, without realising what will be required to enable The Great Institution of Marriage … to actually work.

A wedding is of course not just a day of celebration; it is also furthermore the very beginnings of the Institution of Marriage itself.

Additionally, and stating the obvious - a simple search online of 'healthy marriage tips' is a really great place to start contemplating the very aim of what lies ahead, all with a view to an intended lifetime happiness. I wish you happy reading …

I like to think of it like this, - Picture you and your beloved walking in Balbirnie Park in the future, when you are in your eighties!!! (Or nineties!!!) Hand in hand. Very much in love with each other.  (Having visited Balbirnie many times over the years for Anniversary occasions!) Fulfilled with a lifetime of wonder and special Memories. Work everything in a timewarp backwards, now then - how and why was your marriage so successful that you have ended up so happy together in your eighties? I know this much, - setting aside a humorous suggestion that husbands do very well to pay attention and follow a wife’s instructions - there is no single particular secret.

Here’s my own tuppence. Marriage is about compassion, understanding, and patience. It is certainly not an on-going competition between two individuals. It is about trust, shared mutual regard and mutual respect, and shared common purpose, with jointly made decisions. It is about a sense of togetherness on a shared journey. It is about looking after each other always, with a feeling of absolute togetherness, and an absolute sense too that your life partner has your feelings always completely to the fore. A sense of humour will also assist you both very much!

 Anyone thinking of getting married? Ask yourself one simple question. 'Do I really hand-on-heart want to spend the whole of the rest of my life, with the person to whom I intend getting married?' Until death do us part. If the answer is 'yes', then let us please proceed with your special day. If 'unsure', (or even ‘maybe’) then I suggest that in currently contemplating getting married, you are perhaps wasting your time, and that also of your current beloved and intended.

We have lost count of the number of times we have most unfortunately had to issue cancellation invoices, only to be told (by either bride or groom) – ‘We both knew we were never the one for each other’. And we always reply, ‘we are so sorry to hear that is the case, but as a form of positive, if you both concluded that you knew, then in no longer going ahead, you have absolutely made the correct decision’.

I love marriage’s stability and a sense of real purpose every day, thanking my lucky stars for own very lovely wife, our children and extended families and all the joy we have seen as a result of our marriage together.

I wish one and all every happiness in your important lifetime decisions. Deciding who you marry is in my opinion, the biggest decision you will ever make.

And for those of you who already just somehow intuitively know that you are making the correct decision to get married. Well then, when you know, then you really know …!

All the best to you and yours, and wishing every happiness.

Nicholas Russell / MD Balbirnie x

Balbirnie House is the 10 time recipient, and Scotland's current #SHA 'Wedding Hotel of the Year'

Haute Grandeur, 2016 Europe's Best Destination Wedding Retreat

THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN TIE

We confirm that in relation to the subject matter of this BlogPost, Balbirnie House has now been invited by Guinness World Records, to submit a full application for a World Record. 

The hotel manager is informed-

‘We don't have a record title for:

"MOST WEDDINGS EVER PLACED INTO A HOTEL EVENTS DIARY IN A ROW” You are welcome to suggest it as a new record’.

So, to begin. My father went to the big hotel in the sky on 20^th September 2008. Over the next few days I helped my mother to begin to tidy my father’s possessions.

In amongst a very significant collection of ties, there was one tie still unworn, an expensive one which had been received as a gift. Obviously it had been awaiting a relevant opportunity to be worn for the first time.

I removed the silk tie from beautiful packaging. 
It was Golden, with small white and shaded gold sections.

An absolute work of art. #ArmaniCravatte

I decided there and then that I would break with the established tradition of wearing dark ties at funerals, and I would wear it to my father’s funeral. I felt that it was exactly what he would have wanted me to do. I heard the words in my mind, ‘a celebration of life’. After the funeral, I went home and put the tie into storage.

Fast forward 3 years through the recession, to late autumn 2011. Having been at Balbirnie for almost two decades, I was trying to figure what I should do for the remainder of my working career. Following long discussions with my wife Gaynor, we decided together that we would dedicate ouselves to at least the next two decades at Balbirnie. Thus aligning the hotel manager, to at least a potential 40 years in total!

I could tell you that what then happened to our incoming wedding bookings starting in late Autumn 2011 was a convergence of many factors. Packaged pricing. A quite incredible new LED underlit black dancefloor. LED event uplighting. A brand new revolutionised cutting edge website. A slight change in my own mindset. A much deeper more resonant developed understanding of selling techniques. The arrival of Miss Kirsty Balbirnie, in a brand new additional support role in our wedding planning department. Flawless pre-meeting event planning preparations. New Ipad galleries. New methodology for meeting and greeting, and further extending our warmth of welcome. New tools at our disposal on YouTube.

Those aspects and many more, they all certainly combined in some form or another.

But the actual magic occurred one fine day in late 2011, when I put that Golden Tie back on! You see, I would normally always align a tie choice for meeting prospective new wedding clients, with a consideration of ‘sophisticated understatement’, but the moment I had The Golden Tie on for a first prospective new wedding client showround, it felt completely and utterly, as if it were simply meant to be!

I’ve thought about it long and hard over recent years, and I’ve concluded that The Golden Tie is somehow in itself reflective of wedding celebrations, a component of bridal couture for bridesmaid dresses, and it is instinctively trustworthy as well. It reflects an absolute confidence in ‘the product’, based firmly upon history, tradition, and evolution.

It is relevant to tell you, that up until starting with The Golden Tie, the most wedding client bookings I had ever had in a row, when it comes to talking to prospective new wedding clients, was 5!

Bear in mind, some clients can be considering and visiting up to 15 different venues! And they might have started their journey of discovery, thinking of a city centre venue, or an ancient castle, or a modern venue beside a loch. We were visited for an overnight stay last week by the very lovely Natasha Radmehr, Editor of The Scottish Wedding Directory, who informed us that Scotland’s main wedding publication is now listing 349 wedding venues, there’s certainly plenty of choice.

Anyways, over the first few days, and into 2012, I managed 10 wedding bookings in a row, all entered into our forward Special Events Diary, at the point of our initial 1hr client meeting and showround. This really was quite miraculous stuff.

We kept going. Unbelievably to me, we got to 20 in a row, and by now this had become a big talking point within the hotel brigade. At our team briefings each day, we would discuss the accumulating statistics. I began to start saying, ‘the run of luck will surely end sometime soon’. But I didn’t actually feel that way.

Then we got to 30 in a row. Blimey. This was simply staggering.

Then we got to 40 in a row. Sweet Jiminy Cricket, the hotel manager’s wedding chat was clearly in The Zone!

And you know something? I would never ever take one single thing for granted. Ever. Our blessings counted every single day.

You see, there’s something I don’t know, when stepping into a new client meeting. I will certainly know the names of those getting married, the potential numbers and logisitics, and geographical start points. But what I don’t know, is if the client is either (a) a multi-millionaire Lottery winner, or (b) if someone has been saving hard-earned cash since the day their wee boy or wee girl was born, knowing that one day in the future they would come to visit Balbirnie to have this conversation. It has guided me so very well over 3 decades, to approach every single meeting with a perspective of the latter.

When we got to 50 in a row, well that night at home we popped the cork on a bottle of bubbly. By this point, each time I was putting on The Golden Tie, it felt as if we were now creating a wee piece of history. I started wondering if there was any hotel in the world, in which a hotel manager had ever taken more than 50 wedding bookings, in a row.

And I confirm, many of these couples who had booked their special day with us, had already firstly visited between 5 and 15 other wedding venues!

We reached 60 in a row, Oh My Oh My! Oh Boy Oh Boy!

That day, I ran outside and jumped over a hedge, with absolute joy.

Then we reached 70, I downed tools and we went to Edinburgh’s Café Royale, my favourite pub in the world. We sat drinking Schiehallion lagers in front of tiled mosaics of famous Scottish inventors, and I wondered LOLZ if the tie and I should write down and reveal our secret!

By this point, every single incoming client new meeting was individually a very significant brigade talking point in advance, at our morning meetings. Surpassing 75 I nonchalantly proclaimed, ‘we appear to be on a roll’. At every stage however, knowing I was dealing with something so incredibly special and emotive, that mere words would not ever begin to convey.

At 80 in a row, I confirmed to the team, ‘I am not a gambler, I never will be, you’ll never ever see me standing quaffing champagne in a casino, but, my dear colleagues, one thing I can certainly say is that we are clearly onto something with our new client meetings’.

On the night we surpassed 85, late that night I went out to the south lawns, looked up to the stars, and very quietly said two words, ‘thank you’.

We achieved 89. On the 90^th client meeting, after the 1hr discussion and showround the groom said, ‘I think we’re going to take our time, as it could well be the case that a city centre venue will work better, for multiple reasons’. I replied, ‘you should only ever book your wedding venue, if you feel the Love’.

My colleague the very lovely Meghan Davies and I returned to our office. We both knew we had reached the end of something incredible. Mind you, Meghan still called that groom 2 hours later, just to check once again! But no, they wished to take more time to think.

Late autumn 2011 into summer 2012, some 8 months and 89 wedding bookings in a row. There stands the record.

Early the following year, having entered a competition in a catering magazine, Balbirnie House won an entire collection of the most amazing steak knives, for our customers. So we got them all engraved!

I’ll always reflect back on those 89 client conversations, with such incredible fondness. I still can’t believe it actually happened, but it all confirms once again, yet another reason as to why we work in Hospitality. It was such an honour and a privilege for me to have been here at Balbirnie, and had all those client discussions.

After the 89 result, The Lucky Golden Tie was immediately retired. The replacement, aka The Lucky Golden Tie 2^nd – well, that one remains in use today. #ArmaniCravatte, still Golden, but with a different style.

And whilst the original Lucky Golden Tie and I were at the sharp end leading each and every conversation, the real magic of course actually happened elsewhere.

The real magic you see, is the preparation, consideration, consultation and support provided, by the amazing team in our Special Events department. It is to them, of course, that the real credit is due.

My sincere gratitude as always.

Meghan Davies, Kirsty Balbirnie, Gaynor Russell xxx

Balbirnie's Wedding Planning Special Events Team 2012

(Image via Rob Thomson, Lifetime Photography)

Nicholas / MD Balbirnie

1992 – present


My late father, Alan Russell
'Cheers Dad' 

This Blog post is dedicated to the very lovely Reni Korosi, Balbirnie’s 2014 Employee of the Year. Thank you Reni, for suggesting I should write about my ties x

I take it you meant ‘my ties’ … ???

As opposed to ‘Mai Thai’s’ - !!!! 

Balbirnie House is Scotland's 10 time winner of The Scottish Hotel of the Year Awards - 'Scotland's Wedding Hotel of the Year' 

Via Haute Grandeur, 'Europe's Best Destination Wedding Retreat' 

www.balbirnie.co.uk